Seeds that Grow

 Today, we had our first DCFS training for foster and adoptive parents. This is a brain dump, so please bear with me. I've had classes on maltreatment, abuse, and neglect before. I have had foster children under my care when I worked in childcare. My point is, I've seen/heard most of this information before, about how trauma can affect children and their overall development. It breaks my heart. I won't ever get used to hearing stories and seeing pictures, even dramatized situations, of child abuse and neglect, and the heartbreak of a birth mother whose kiddos have been taken away. The fact is, these kiddos face an ugly reality. Our minds were not created for trauma. Yet, these kids have seen the worst of the worst. Again, the doubts come. Can I parent a child who has been through trauma? Will my training and experience as a childcare teacher and a special education teacher be enough? What if we are giving it our all and it still isn't enough? But I keep reminding myself

Are we ready for this?   I clutched the pen in my hand, stopping in the middle of filling out the paperwork. I breathed in and out, in and out. Somewhere, on the other side of the red tape, is a sibling group who needs parents to love and support them. My husband of almost 3 years, Eric and I knew this was what the LORD was calling us to do. But these questions raced through my mind as I wrote my information, my family's information, etc, on the paperwork. Can we do this? I had come a long way since last year, when I was battling crippling depression. I've learned (well, still learning!) to tend to the garden of my heart. My marriage, which had been put on the back burner, is thriving in spite of medical issues that have gotten in the way.  We are not stupid. We are not going in this blind. We know our lives will change. Therapy appointments, school activities, extracurriculars, bedtime routines, consistency, actually packing lunches, and handling meltdowns, is what we are most